graphic by nathan espino
I wake up in that small town overwhelmed by the dread of my being. Of walking into those classrooms, hearing the harsh laughter and mocking jokes catered towards my existence. My pre-teen friend group brings up everything about me that embarrasses them. Singing “If I Were A Boy” by Beyoncé as a way to mock my queerness. I walked into those public school bathrooms with a sign that labels “Female” Because the only time I ever entered one that was labeled “Male” I was harassed, I was targeted and full of shame. Did you know that I have never seen a gender neutral bathroom in my 20 years of living? That I have been pinned down, bullied and mocked, screamed at for being myself (for being queer)? Did you know that I’m afraid to express myself truly in public, because the world is unsafe? The world is unkind to my type. No one wants to hear a f*ggot speak up. It’s just a phase, they’ll say. You’re just a boyish woman. Maybe I am. My gender is something beautiful, and indescribable. My queerdom shines like a mirrorball in an empty room. I am trans, and I am beautiful. I am non-binary and beautiful. Every queer person I have ever met is beautiful. They grow like sunflowers in an open field and bloom. They are works of art, gazed upon and admired by many. They are people. Beautiful, inspiring, talented people. Maybe we aren’t admired by all, that’s the problem. What will you do to change it?