graphic by kayleigh woltal
“What kind of books do you like to read?”
That’s always the dreaded question. I love to talk about books more than anything, but a tiny bit of shame always creeps in when I answer that question with a squeaked-out, “romance.” I tend to add a rushed “but also fantasy and historical fiction and literary fiction” to the end because I always feel the need to clarify that while romance is probably my go-to genre, I read more conventionally accepted genres as well.
This is entirely due to the fact that romance books are often not accepted as “proper” reading. When it comes to books, people will dismiss romance as a “real” genre because “romance is stupid.”
People will argue that since it is generally easier to read a romance novel than, let’s say a classic, it must not be real literature. They will argue that while, for example, fantasy authors focus on world-building and fantastical imagery and romance authors merely focus on simple tropes, romance is not a genre that is worthy of recognition.
Of course, these aren’t valid arguments. If something is easier to read, it doesn’t automatically mean it doesn’t count as literature. I mean, I think everyone can agree that “Adventures of Huckleberry Finn” is way easier to read than Proust’s “In Search of Lost Time,” but are we going to say that Mark Twain was not a real author? Of course not! That’s just silly! And who’s to say that the complexity of a story has anything to do with its validity? I mean, “The Catcher in the Rye” took place over just three days. That doesn’t seem so complicated. But are we going to say that it’s not valid literature because it has a bit more of a simple setting than a ten-book fantasy series? Again, that would be foolish.
So, when you say “romance is stupid,” I just don’t trust you. If you said “I just don’t love to read romance,” that would be a completely different story. You’re allowed to just not personally enjoy romance, but to say it is stupid in general and berating anyone who reads or writes the genre is where I draw the line. That’s just misogyny.
Yeah, that’s right. You don’t hate romance — you just hate women.
Romance is a genre that is undoubtedly rooted in femininity. According to the Romance Writers of America, 82% of romance readers are women while only 18% are men. As for romance writers, while a handful of male authors can be picked out, the list of female romance authors seems to go on and on.
Content-wise, romance novels tend to have male love interests that don’t embody the typical “masculine man.” Men in romance novels are written to be vulnerable characters who empathize with others, express their fears and desires and do anything for their female love interests. Men who read these characters immediately dismiss them, shout “simp” and call it a day. They reject anything that goes against traditional male gender roles as they have been taught that these traits convey weakness. But toxic masculinity shouldn’t deem an entire genre “stupid” or “unworthy.”
Romance novels create more revenue than any other fiction genre. On Amazon alone, romance sales amount to $1.4 billion. To put that into perspective, that’s more than crime/mystery and science fiction/fantasy make combined ($1.3 billion). So, if romance is so clearly well-liked, why is it that I still find countless Reddit posts titled “Recommend a romance novel that isn’t stupid and doesn’t suck” along with “I doubt a good romance novel even exists” written in the post itself? It’s because it was made popular by women, and people hate that.
Men reject romance as a genre because it is far too feminine for them — but this phenomenon extends even beyond them. Think back to the infamous “I’m not like other girls” movement. Many women were so hell-bent on rejecting anything they deemed “too feminine” that the general dislike turned to full-blown slander. These women joined men in their toxic view of gender roles and embraced the idea that if most women like something, it must be invalid. So forget “Romance just isn’t for me” and say hello to “Romance is the dumbest genre I’ve ever read.” Whether it comes from men or from other women in the form of internalized misogyny, people will jump at the chance to renounce anything related to women or femininity.
Let’s look at some other really popular things people hate on: chick-flicks, boybands, Taylor Swift, Harry Styles, pop music in general and even pumpkin spice-flavored snacks and drinks. Recognize a pattern? It’s not a coincidence.
The hate for romance stems from misogyny rather than an actual problem with the genre and the proof is in the countless stories that women have of being ridiculed for simply enjoying something.
In 2018, a piece by writer Jen Miller appeared in The Washington Post telling the story of her summer job at a bookstore. When the store’s buy two books, get one free day rolled around, romance readers flocked to the store to take advantage of the sale. Of course, a man in the store watched as a woman carried a crate of books to the checkout counter and told Miller that it was her “favorite day of the year.” The man promptly mumbled “loser” under his breath as she left with her stack of romance novels.
Now, you don’t see anyone calling a man next to them in line a loser for buying a stack of murder mysteries. That’s because everyone seems to be in agreement that even if mystery fiction isn’t your thing, it’s not an inherently bad genre.
It’s no coincidence that this is the case when the mystery fiction audience is far more balanced regarding the gender of its readers compared to romance. While women still hold the majority (as they tend to within every fiction sub-genre, considering women statistically read more fiction than men in general), 57% of mystery readers are women while 39% are men. It’s still not a perfect 50/50, but it is definitely closer to it than romance is!
Beyond simple statistics, a common explanation for hatred of the romance genre further confirms its misogynistic undertones. According to many haters, romance novels are just too superficial. But arguing that romance novels aren’t “deep” or “thoughtful” enough for you isn’t a valid argument. It connects back to the stereotype of women being shallow and materialistic, so just say you hate women and move on.
It’s unfair to treat the romance genre like literary fiction. You will rarely find the nuanced metaphors and almost melodic language customary for literary fiction in romance novels because it doesn’t fit the conventions of the genre. However, what you will find is crafted dialogue and banter between characters, vivid and familiar imagery that you feel you can actually be a part of and comforting cliches with a new twist every time. Who’s to say one genre’s conventions are better than another’s?
So toss the misogyny and pick up a romance novel. Read without thinking about who typically reads and writes the genre — read just for the joy of reading and read to escape from the real world for a bit. I bet you’ll like it more than you expect when you leave your prejudice at home.