I Can’t Talk Right Now, I’m Doing Au Pair Shit

Graphic by Gill Kwok

If you read my last article, you know that I have been in Italy. There was a possibility I couldn’t return because of COVID and travel restrictions — a fear of mine until I made the life-altering decision to stay in Italy … permanently. I am coming to you live from Salina in the Aeolian Islands, a tiny little island off the coast of Sicily.

One of the main reasons I came to Italy in the first place was because I didn’t have a nine-to-five corporate job. I had been job hunting since I graduated from college in January of 2020, but COVID-19 has destroyed the job market. I had been keeping busy doing remote freelance work, and since I could technically do this work from anywhere, I decided to pack up and visit my family in Italy. While I was there, my return flight was pushed back due to COVID and travel restrictions. Stuck with my sister in Florence during the second lockdown, we discussed the possibility of me working in Italy. I looked into corporate jobs, from sales to tourism. But just like New York, no one was hiring. While trying to figure out what my next steps were, I entertained the faint idea of being an Au Pair. I always wanted to live and work in Italy, and being an au pair would give me the opportunity to cross that off of my bucket list.

The au pair lifestyle is a ridiculously cool experience — as long as you like children. You get to live with a family anywhere in the world, usually receive free language lessons based on the language of your host country and be a full-time or part-time nanny. In addition to free housing and meals, which are covered by the family, there is typically an attached weekly stipend. I did my research and signed up for the most reputable sites — AuPair.com and AuPairWorld.com. The process was very much like online dating. You make a profile, set the country you’d like to work in, talk a little bit about yourself/experience, indicate the languages you speak, post pictures, etc. The families have to do the same! Then you swipe and send messages to families. First and foremost, you need to have experience working with kids — the families won’t really trust you otherwise. Contracts can be anywhere from three months to two years, it just depends on what the family is looking for. The families wanted to know if I knew how to drive, cook and clean. Being an English speaker is also greatly requested since most kids learn it in school, and you could be both an au pair and English teacher/tutor. I was also a hot commodity on this website because I have European citizenship, the families didn’t have to pay for my visa. 

 I was only on the site for a week when I came across this incredible family. A marine biologist and a professional sailor who live on this tiny little island off the coast of Sicily were looking for an au pair for their three-month-old. These islands are basically the Hawaii of Italy. I am a girl from New York City, but the idea of living on a peaceful little island away from the hustle and bustle, and more importantly, away from the mess that is the U.S. right now. I applied immediately. My sister helped me write the message in Italian (so that it was perfect), and then off into the ether it went. Bring! Three days later … the family answered me. Things moved rather quickly after that. We had an interview over video chat, and they offered me a 12-month au pair position. The island of Salina is rather small, and they stressed that in the winter months, it’s quite desolate. In the summer, there is a tourist boom, and all shops open, but right now, it’s just the 1,100 people that live there all year round. Which to put in perspective, that’s the size of most high schools in the U.S. — some are even larger. 

They gave me the weekend to think about it, understanding that island life is completely different from Manhattan life. I am very lucky to have an incredible support system. It was a very big decision to make, and I really wanted to lay out all my options. I called everyone and discussed in depth the pros and cons.

 Pros: Live in Italy, improve my Italian, ridiculous opportunity, not be in the U.S., work on other projects remotely, write for myself, travel, become more independent.
 Cons: Away from family and friends, FOMO, not the job I wanted, not starting a career in NYC, not making a lot of money (I have student loans). 

I called everyone, begging for their opinions. Some family and friends were shocked that this was something I would want to do. Others told me to run and never look back, that I would be stupid not to take the job. After I had my personal orders in check, and I knew that not returning to the States wouldn’t damage my important relationships, I had to do a more introspective reflection. I had to think about the future of my desired career. I quickly got on the phone with a friend of mine who works in corporate HR. I asked her the question that was scratching the corners of my mind, “When a resume lands on your desk and the candidate has been an au pair or there are gaps of time between jobs, what do you think?” Her answer, to my delight, was, “I usually take a second look at them, because they have lived.” What a beautiful sentence! It brought me so much comfort, hearing from an HR manager that something like this would possibly even help my career. 

It took me three days to really think about it. I was scared. Sometimes the things that scare us make us stronger.

As you could guess, I accepted the offer.

Right after Christmas, I made the journey down to the island. Train — car — boat — car — another boat — and I finally made it to Salina. Now, I live in paradise. The family has really welcomed me with open arms. We got to celebrate the New Year together, and we toasted “to the unexpected.” Even though I speak Italian and am familiar with the culture, there is still a lot that I need to learn. We went over and signed a contract together so we all understood our roles and expectations. I work 40-45 hours a week, and I have Saturdays and Sundays off. Both parents work from home most days, so while they are busy, I am here to take care of baby Anna Salina (yes, she’s named after the island). She’s about to be four months old and has a feeding and napping schedule that I have adjusted to pretty well at this point. Not every day is exactly the same; sometimes we play more, sometimes she naps more. Oh, to be a three-month-old. In the gaps of my day, when Anna is napping, I usually work on my own projects. I am super grateful that the family is OK with my side hustle, but they know that Anna is my priority. My day kind of looks like this.

7 a.m.: Wake up go for a run along the beach
8:30 a.m.: Shower and get ready for the day
9 a.m.: Coffee with the family — Start au pair work
11 a.m.: Second bottle of the day, burp, change diaper
12 p.m.: Lunch with family — Anna naps
2 p.m.: Music time, we sing and play together
3 p.m.: 3rd bottle of the day, burp, change diaper
4 p.m.: Go for a walk with Anna
5:30 p.m.: Done with au pair work
6 p.m.: Do some freelance work
7 p.m.: Fourth bottle, burp, change diaper (I sometimes do it to be nice, even if it is after hours)
8 p.m.: Dinner with family
10 p.m.: Bed (Netflix and TikTok) 

 I have only been here a little while, and I am learning so much about taking care of a baby, the island, this amazing family and myself. I even have to learn how to drive a manual car! It’s all new and challenging, but also very exciting. I made an Instagram to document my new island life if you want to follow along. It’s @elisa.eolie. I have never been so happy. I feel the support from my amazing loved ones, even though they are far away. Though I am alone here, I feel the love. This was an opportunity that I couldn’t say no to, and I’m so glad and lucky to be here. If there is anything 2020 taught us, it’s that we have to adapt, we have to be open to change and we have to really lean into the discomfort. I don’t want to be cliche and do the whole you only live once thing, BUT you only live once! I wake up every morning and see the ocean. I feel the gorgeous Sicillian sun on my face. I am eating the most amazing food and experiencing and learning things I never knew. Everything is changing and moving so fast, but I am so ready for this new beginning. I can’t wait for what’s next.