Just Send It

Graphic by Faith Terrill

Have a crush and thinking about texting them? Just send it. Wanna stir the pot but not sure how they’ll react? Just send it. This is the year to build up courage, confidence and endless bad bitch energy. 

You may be thinking: “Maria, that’s easy for you to say, but I just can’t do it, I don’t know how!” Well, let me let you in on a little secret — a year ago, I would have shit bricks being within a 20-foot radius of a boy that I liked. I literally went on a date with someone I was interested in for two years and didn’t even have the courage to kiss him — I was THAT nervous (but it’s fine, because he’s a Trump supporter now, so I dodged that bullet).

Part of the anxiety I faced stemmed from my struggles with body image and self-esteem, and I knew I had to conquer those obstacles in order to let go of the fear I had at the thought of a mere boy. I first adopted the “just send it” mindset in 2019 when I began romanticizing myself on social media. Something about turning casual settings into photoshoots, learning my angles, planning outfits and making fun memories with friends in the process allowed me to actually look forward to doing it more. When I see the pictures, I think about spending time with the people I love who support me — and hype me up as I flex for the camera. Forcing myself to like my appearance enough to share it on the internet became an integral part of building my confidence. We are all the main character, so we need to act the part until the script becomes second nature, and suddenly, everyone wants a role as our co-stars.

I also propose talking highly of yourself as a joke, in typical Gen Z fashion. When it becomes part of your routine, you’ll start doing it unironically — and even believe the words you say. When someone doesn’t give you the attention you deserve, repeat: “I am so FLAWLESS, who wouldn’t wanna go out with me and get a handful of my thick voluptuous juicy dump truck caboose? They’re really missing out on a FINE ASS PERSON!”

As Megan Thee Stallion once said, “I’m that bitch, been that bitch, still that bitch, will forever be that bitch.” We should follow the hot girl’s mantra — but words can only go so far. I’ve learned that confidence comes with hands-on practice. It’s through tangible experiences where you can pinpoint actions and their responses, reflect upon feelings, and improve your self-esteem that one becomes the baddest bitch. Like other skills, it’s impossible to master without daily use and practice. If I want to reach Lebron James-level confidence, shooting my shot with these players known as men, I gotta be up in the gym working on my free throws.

Most of the time, dating apps go nowhere. Most matches lead to uninspiring conversations that fizzle out after a few messages. So, I use them as a training ground for talking with boys I find attractive confidently. Through the help of Bumble, Tinder or Hinge, you can practice talking to people and flirting without the grueling implications of face-to-face interactions. Every conversation is an opportunity to become more comfortable with yourself and learn something new about what you’re looking for without facing repercussions. There’s no way to learn different techniques without trial and error. Could you imagine if Lebron James made just one shot and stopped playing? Even so, could you imagine if Lebron stopped after one missed basket? If you shoot your shot and miss, just pick up the ball and shoot again. If it doesn’t feel right or they don’t reciprocate your energy, you have the ability to move onto someone who will. Whether you’re actively talking to a whole roster, looking for your Savannah or just reflecting on who to keep in your life, say what’s on your mind. Nine out of 10 times, the other party will appreciate your honesty, and it’ll save you time trying to guess their intentions. So just send it. 

Here are some actual messages I’ve sent for a variety of situations. Perhaps they can be helpful:

• SOLID pickup line: “Your feet must be tired because you’ve been running through my mind all day”
• “Heyy I just wanted to say I think you’re really cute but I’ve been too shy to talk to you haha”
• “Your eyes look really pretty right now” (not as basic as calling them cute; this is so specific they’ll be soft and think about it for the next week)
• After they compliment you: “Thanks, you should see it at dinner sometime”
• “I’m curious about where you see this going, obviously we talk every day and like each other, but what do you want out of this?”
• “Why do you talk to me if you’re so hung up on her and don’t wanna talk to anyone else?”
• “That was a dick thing to say and I deserve some respect”
• “Whether or not it was your intention, I’m still hurt”

At the end of the day, no matter the situation, literally just send it. Hesitant to apply to an internship? Send it. Unsure about how a friend will react to your new hobby? Send it. Want to tell a family member about the tea in your life? Send it. The worst that can happen is that you don’t and have regrets or question the “what ifs” of doing nothing. I am tremendously proud of how far I’ve come, and in the new year, I plan to continue sending it at every given moment.