New Year, New Attachment

Graphic by Faith Terrill

Growing up, I was always told it was great to have a vivid imagination. However, I felt judgement arise whenever I became particularly attached to a certain movie or television show — and I’m sure others have faced the same. Well, I am here to tell you that you can like whatever you like. Free yourself from judgement and ridicule for whatever fantasy universe you find yourself becoming emotionally involved in. If your critics are all about “new year, new me” and they judge you for something you like, fuck them; maybe they should work on their judgemental attitude first. And, while we enter this new year, maybe try and find a new place to get lost in — you never know where it may lead.  

People will always tell you to find your passion, your muse, what makes you happy and what makes you you. But, when you finally find it, there are always people who will sneer at you or question why. I have always been afraid to express what I enjoy in fear of people making fun of me. I craved commonality with people my age. I wanted to be the same, not the odd woman out by any means. But I’ve always just seemed to like different things than my family, friends and peers. In high school, I discovered my interest in show tunes and music. But, I grew up in a sports family — in fact, I played basketball for 12 years. Theatre was not something that was considered traditional, for lack of a better term. Later, when I went to college, it was a shock to my family when I traded playing intramurals for theatre. They did not take too kindly to it. However, three years have passed since I’ve become involved in theatre, and some family members have grown to realize how much effort and care I put into this new passion of mine.

If your critics are all about “new year, new me” and they judge you for something you like, fuck them; maybe they should work on their judgemental attitude first.

 I thrive on fantasy worlds and stories. I love imagining different universes and different characters in said worlds and attach myself to them. When I was about eight or nine years old, my dad, my younger brother and I sat down and watched the first “Iron Man” movie together. I fell in love with the Marvel Cinematic Universe that day. I loved superheroes, I loved the different mentalities each Marvel character had as I watched the movies and “met” them all individually. Characters like Black Widow, Captain America and Bucky Barnes were specific characters that I found myself drawn to. Black Widow was the first female superhero I remember seeing, she could kick anyone’s ass, and her character in the movies was not focused around a love interest. Captain America and Bucky Barnes showed me the importance of friendship and defending those you care about. These characters instilled in me a desire to protect those I love and showed me that your past will not define your future. The franchise has shaped who I am as a person. When my brother was little, he also adored Iron Man. He was obsessed with the suit and his I-don’t-give-a-fuck mentality. However, when he grew older, his love for Iron Man and superheroes diminished. He thought superhero movies were stupid and pointless and would make fun of me for watching them in my room. My cousins were in the same boat as my brother, leaving me as the only superhero-loving kid. I became afraid to share why I liked Marvel or what about a certain character I adored because I was afraid of the teasing.

2020 was a complete change for me. With all the new free time, I found a few television shows, musicals and movies that meant a lot to me. There was a lot of time for me to dig into these worlds and get lost in them. I had the very lovely privilege of living at school again for the fall semester, and I had a roommate and two suitemates who were very open to talking about all the things they loved. My roommate would go on and on about “Stranger Things” and “Star Wars” and how much she adored it, and in return, I would speak about Marvel, “Avatar: The Last Airbender” and “Legend of Korra,” explaining what I loved. We had a common ground between us with musicals. Our conversations really helped me find a space to open up and realize that the right people in your life won’t judge you for what you like. 

Going into 2021, I would like to be more unafraid of others’ judgement and what they think about my interests. I want to be able to find more friends with common interests, or even people to introduce me to more things I like. Remember, the right people will not mess with you about things you really like or care about. So, find those people and stick by them.